"He Leadeth Me" Fr. Walter Ciszek, S.J.

Fr. Walter Ciszek lived in Russia from 1941 to 1963. He went to Russia to serve as a priest, and shortly after arrival, when the Germans invaded Russia, he was picked up by the NKVD and put into Lubianka prison in Moscow as a "Vatican spy." He remained there in solitary confinement and subjected to frequent interrogations for five years, all through WWII. The next 15 years he worked out his sentence of hard labor in the Siberian prison camps. When his term ran out, and because he was "convicted" on a charge of espionage, he could not leave Siberia so remained in the villages and towns of Siberia working as an auto mechanic among other things until he was finally exchanged in 1963 for two convicted Russian spies.

This is from the Epilog:

"For all my apologies, therefore, I am not ashamed of what I have written here - simple as some may find it. The terrible thing about all divine truth, indeed, is its simplicity. Whether it be the secrets of the physical universe he has created (like Einstein's E = mc2), or the Ten Commandments, or the Beatitudes, or the truth we learned in catechism - all can be simply stated. And yet how curious it is that this very simplicity makes them so unacceptable to the wise and the proud and the sophisticated of this world, "It is the simple things of this world", says St. Paul, "that God has chosen to confound the wise." Has God really planned it so, or is it just that we in our human wisdom are too proud to accept the utter simplicity of divine wisdom? Why must we always look for more sophisticated, more meaningful, more relevant answers, when he has set the truth before us in so stark and simple fashion?

Man was created to praise, reverence, and serve God in this world and to be happy with him forever in the next. That is the fact of the matter; you believe it or you don't - and that is the end of it. Philosophers may argue about it, and they have; some have managed to convince themselves and others of its truth, while others have not. But it is the first truth of the faith, and those who have faith accept it; those who do not, do not. I cannot myself convince anyone of it, but I believe it. I do not apologize for my faith, nor am I ashamed of it.

What I have tried to show in the pages of this book, however, is how the faith has affected my life and sustained me in all I experienced. That faith is the answer to the question often asked of me (How did you manage to survive?") and I can only repeat it, simply and unashamedly. To me, that truth says more than that man has a duty and obligation toward his Creator, as many have tended to interpret it. To me, it says that God has a special purpose, a special love, a special providence for all those he has created. God cares for each of us individually, watches over us, provides for us. The circumstances of each day of our lives, of every moment of every day, are provided for us by him. Let the theologians argue about how this is so, let the philosophers and sophisticates of the world question and doubt whether it can be so; the revealed truth we have received on God's own word says simply that it is so. But maybe we are all just a little afraid to accept it in all it shattering simplicity, for its consequences in our lives are both terrible and wonderful.

It means, for example, that every moment of our life has a purpose, that every action of ours, no matter how dull or routine or trivial it may seem in itself, has a dignity and a worth beyond human understanding. No man's life is insignificant in God's sight, nor are his works insignificant - no matter what the world or his neighbors or family or friends may think of them. Yet what a terrible responsibility is here. For it means that no moment can be wasted, no opportunity missed, since each has a purpose in man's life, each has a purpose in God's plan. Think of your day, today or yesterday. Think of the work you did, the people you met, moment by moment. What did it mean to you - and what might it have meant to God? Is the question too simple to answer or are we just afraid to ask it or fear of the answer we must give?

The air is full these days with talk of peace, of commitment, of fulfillment. Yet no one can know greater peace, no one can be more committed, no one can achieve a greater sense of fulfillment in his life than the man who believes in this truth of the faith and strives daily to put it into practice. If it all seems too simple you have only to try it to find how difficult it is. But you have only to try it to find out as well the joy and the peace and the happiness it can bring. For what can ultimately trouble the soul that accepts every moment of every day as a gift from the hands of God and strives always to do his will? "If God is for us, who can stand against us?" Nothing, not even death, can separate us from God. Nothing can touch us that does not come from his hand, nothing can trouble us because all things come from his hand. Is this too simple, or are we just afraid really to believe it, to accept it fully and in every detail of our lives? to yield ourselves up to it in total commitment? This is the ultimate question of faith, and each must answer it in the quiet of his heart and the depths of his soul. But to answer it in the affirmative is to know a peace, to discover a meaning to life, that surpasses all understanding.

That is the only secret I have come to know. It is not mine alone; Christ himself spoke of it, the saints have practiced it, others have written about it far better than I. I can only hope that what I have written will strike a responsive chord in some, will prove a help to others, however few. And I pray that you may be one of them.